It was inevitable that, after almost a year stuck in the UK, my mind would start to wander and plan increasingly obscure adventures. Like many in lockdown I have resorted to binge-watching, and in doing so, fallen head-over-heels, Hotlips-style in love with M*A*S*H, a 48-year-old show that remains refreshingly ageless. So, for my next trip? An old-fashioned American roadtrip, with a twist: an East-to-West-coast journey taking in the hometowns of members of the 4077.
Of course, if you start on the East Coast, you immediately come up against the seemingly insurmountable hurdle that the hometown of the main character, Hawkeye Pierce, doesn’t actually exist. Crabapple Cove, Maine is a fictional creation – an imagined paradise designed to conjure up images of apple pies, lobster and log fires. But, according to the internet (and when is the internet ever wrong?) Crabapple Cove is loosely based on the small town of Bremen.
So, how would this work? Actually, many of the hometowns of the main characters are in the midwest, an easy drive from one another (and in American terms practically next door.) Here’s The Plan:
- Fly to Philadelphia (Father Mulcahy). As referenced in other posts, Philly is a fantastic city and worth a couple of nights’ stay and, given the subject of M*A*S*H, a trip to the Mutter Museum comes highly recommended.
- Take the Amtrak Acela up to Boston (Trapper John McIntyre and Charles Emerson Winchester III). Boston is also worth a couple of nights’ stay and a trip out to Winchester’s alma mater, Harvard, and of course to the upmarket Beacon Hill area.
- From Boston, hire a car and head up the New England Coast to Maine. Bremen is a 3-hour drive, but a base in Portland overnight would give you the chance to soak in the area of which Hawkeye speaks so fondly and which his father has apparently never left (as long as you discount the inconsistencies from Season 1 where he apparently lives in Vermont and has another child, but hey, detail.)
- From Boston (after your foray into the far north), you can take Amtrak’s Lake Shore Limited all the way to Toledo (Maxwell Q Klinger)! And this is where the fun really starts: there’s a genuine M*A*S*H site here, and you can visit! Tony Packo’s is 100% real, and crammed full of memorabilia and good wishes from visiting cast members. Oh, and they named a park after Jamie Farr.
- From Toledo, you’ll need to take the Lake Shore again onwards to Chicago. This will bypass Fort Wayne (Frank Burns), but then, Frank would expect to be left out, wouldn’t he? While not home to any main character, but Sidney Freedman did end up working at the University of Chicago after the war, so it’s good enough for us. It’s also a good base for exploring the myriad of Midwest M*A*S*H locations – hire a car and head down to
- Bloomington (Henry Blake) then on to
- Hannibal, Missouri (Sherman Potter), where you can also visit Mark Twain’s House. Finally…
- Ottumwa (Walter “Radar” O’Reilly), Iowa not only exists (who knew?!) but is a two-hour drive from Hannibal. Make sure you visit the American Gothic House, a few miles away in Eldon, before you leave.
- OK, I confess: this whole shebang has been an elaborate excuse to fulfil a dream of mine and travel on the California Zephyr, which inexplicably passes through Ottumwa en route to San Francisco. I’ve always wanted to travel on this – over the Rockies all the way to the sea. It helps, of course, that the train drops you off in striking distance of Mill Valley (BJ Hunnicutt) as well as all the sites San Francisco has to offer.
- And Finally, Amtrak’s Coast Starlight service will take you down to Los Angeles, a good base for visiting Malibu Creek State Park and…. wait for it… I’m not kidding… the M*A*S*H site.
Extension
Of course, if you’re feeling really keen, a flight to Seoul once you’ve come this far is a mere hop (well, OK, a 12-hour crawl) across the Pacific, where you’ll find Kimpo, nestling in the hills, is now an international airport and Uijongbu not only exists but is now a suburb on the northern tip of Seoul (though a cursory Google search suggests it has little to offer beyond a Peace Statue, casino and a couple of dodgy bars… which on reflection is quite apt. Pleasingly, it has a hotel called Nice Hotel.)
My husband has reassured himself this is simply a passing phase, but you can bet that the minute someone says “vaccine!” I’ll be on that flight to Pennsylvania.
tuesdayinbucharest 